The Israeli People
The Israelis also known as Jews, Hebrews, Israelites, and according to David Duke, the people who are secretly the “real” Russian Mafia and are working to control the banks, the media, the world, and you (especially you) are a group of Semitic people who have been inhabiting the Levant area of the Middle East for thousands of years. Over the next 2,000 years, the Israelis moved to Europe and Russia, while many stayed and continued to live in the Middle East under the rule of whatever empire at the time that decided to wage a war on a whim.
The Palestinians are also a group of Semitic people who have been inhabiting the Levant area of the Middle East for thousands of years. The Palestinians have only been called “Palestinians” since the 20th century. Prior to that they were known as Phillistines, Arabs, Muslims or, according to Alan Dershowitz, the people who plotted with Hitler to orchestrate the Holocaust. The Palestinians have lived under numerous governments, and have never been autonomous, and Alan Dershowitz continues to say things despite not having any evidence. We like to call this “bullshit”. David Duke does this as well, but we like to call it “racist douchebag asshole who has a small penis” syndrome.
The Israelis and the Palestinians have lived together for thousands of years with relatively few conflicts when compared to the 20th and 21st centuries. According to the Bible and the Quran, these people are actually close family members the descendants of Abraham’s children Isaac and Ishmael. Guess that makes them cousins or something. Historically speaking, these two groups of people were usually peaceful with each other prior to the 20th century.
During World War I the Ottoman Empire got their asses kicked for being douche bags, and then promptly abandoned their territories before splitting up and running away like gang members during a police chase. The Ottoman Turks just happened to control the Levant. Britain, who was apparently a superpower at the time, managed to gain control of the Levant using their smugness and gentlemanly charm. Actually, it was because the Allied powers decided to give it to them, but we’re sure smugness was involved. A adidas outlet nyways, Britain controlled the region and decided to give it the new name of “Palestine” because they thought “Philistines” was a catch all. Either that, or they opened up one section of the Bible, read “Philistines”, and just winged it. During the British Mandate in Palestine, the government drew up plans to divide the land between the Jews and the Arabs, so that they might have their own governments. Then World War II happened.
C’mon, guys. They said they were sorry adidas outlet .
After World War I there was this guy named Adolf Hitler who somehow rose to power. If you read your history books in school or have ever watched the History Channel, chances are you don’t really know who Adolf Hitler was. Hitler was a bumbling moron who was literally mentally ill. His IQ was probably around 80 and was completely dependant upon people around him who were smart (This is true). How he rose to power completely eludes any kind of reasoning, but we’re guessing that it had something to do with the fact that he gained the majority of his support from giving speeches in taverns to drunk socialists (This is also true). Thanks to Hitler’s fucked up and borderline retarded understanding of evolution and natural selection, some 11 million people were systematically killed. This included Gypsies, the handicapped, Slavs, Poles and Polish Catholics, and Jehovah’s Witnesses. The people who got the worst of it, however, were the Jews. Hitler had about 6 million of them systematically killed during World War II. This was over two thirds of the entire population of Jews in Europe. After the war ended the surviving Jews were disliked by much of Europe, and most their homes were destroyed from adidas outlet the war. Nearly all of the Holocaust survivors then migrated to Palestine. The Jewish population agreed to the resolution, but the Arabs rejected it. British troops then left the region, and Israel declared independence on May 14th, 1948. This is the second prominent country that Britain had a hand in accidentally creating.
Around the same time as the 6 Day War, the Arab League in Cairo created a group called the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO), whose purpose was to represent the Palestinian people and regain Israel for Palestinian Independence. Apparently these people don’t understand irony, as their name which represents independence for their people was a name given to them just a few decades earlier by the conquering British. Yasser Arafat ran the PLO and decided it’s balls weren’t big enough to go after the Israeli army.
They instead opted to kill over 80 civilians in numerous attacks in a single decade, including the Munich Massacre. The PLO shacked up in Jordan, and King Hussein got sick and tired of them fucking shit up, so he started a war between t adidas outlet hem which ended up killing thousands of Palestinian civilians. Israeli got sick and tired of the PLO fucking shit up, so they decided to expel thousands of Palestinians. At this point, it’s apparent that all three parties involved don’t understand the difference between the enemy and the civilian. This should be a pretty simply thing to figure out, but logic may not be their strongest skill.
Hint: It’s the guy with the gun.
The PLO then decides to go into Lebanon and fuck shit up. Lebanon was pretty much the jewel of the Middle East. They had beautiful cities, towns, and beaches; Democratic, and not crazy. But the PLO wasn’t having any of that nonsense. They launched attacks into Israel from Lebanon, and then Israel invaded. The PLO showed off their keen war strategies and bravery by hiding behind civilian villages, which resulted in many civillians being killed. The war ended, and some years later Yasser Arafat pulled a no brainer and agreed with the simple fact that Israel has the right to exist in peace. Then some guy named Bill Clinton made them be friends.
In the last 20 years Hamas conducted over FIVE HUNDRED suicide bombings in Israel, either with themselves or other organizations. Like their PLO counterparts, Hamas are also a bunch of pussies who target civilians 99% of the time.
They claim that was in response to Israeli settlement expansion, which might be true, but the biggest reason is because their penises are small. The PLO then said “fuck it” and joined in too. According to their own manifesto, all Israeli and Palestinian territories will be turned into one Islamic state. So basically, these guys are bringing religion into the mix and telling the people that they need to fight for God. Seriously, what kind of person would mix religion in with this? Un friggin believable.