My Designer Handbag
Lauren Merkin Handbags Piper Cross Body BagSource: Finding the Perfect Designer HandbagThe perfect handbag. How difficult can it be to make the perfect handbag? We women carry around the same things, more or less don’t we?
I think some designers think when you are over 35 you no longer want style. It is true that as we age we want functional designs but why can’t we have high fashion and functionality in our bags?
I think there are two types of women in this world, the fashionistas (all 12 of them) and the rest of us. Now I can tell that we are like minded women so let me throw a few design suggestions out there, see if these would make the perfect bag for you.
An Organizer HandbagAt what age did you no longer choose a fashionable handbag,and opted for one of those organizer bags? You know the kind I mean, the ones which will turn you from a scatty ma adidas flux re into a CEO of a large financial institution. If you believe the advertising, it is all that has been holding you back from being the woman you could be.
Let’s dissect this bag and see just what makes it so special and see if there are any improvements needed
We definitely need a dedicated pocket for our phone, it is crucial that we are in contact constantly otherwise the world could crumble.
We need an easily opened coin purse because we are single handily keeping the small coinage in circulation by counting out 97 when we are at the 10 item or less checkout.
A section to accommodate the automatic garage door opener. We can’t leave this in the car, what if the car was stolen, someone could find the house by driving around the neighborhood and pressing it waiting for the garage door to open.
An easily accessible but secure snap for our keys. We women are complicated and have more important things to concern ourselves with than groping into the dark recesses of our handbag in search of our keys. All too often, handbags are a big black void when you try and find something in them. Get rid of the black lining inside, and put a bright color in there with a low energy LED which is activated when you open the clasp. This can work off solar energy which will keep our phone charged and run a small cooler to keep our lipstick from melting inside our bag on a warm day.
A place for our numerous store cards, all of which might be maxed out but this is just a temporary glitch of their system, surely.
A fold out portion for our checkbook with mini calculator attached by Velcro. This should have a permanently refilling ink pen which is always attached.
We definitely need a compartment big enough for a pack of tissues and a pack of gum or breath mints.
How about an external dispenser of for a quick clean of children’s faces, shopping cart handles and various other things which call for a quick wipe clean. On the opposite side, there should be an option to carry lemon scented poop scoop bags, if one is a dog owner.
Changing HandbagsThe bag should also be convertible, changing from a full size bag to a back pack to a hip pack. A few carefully placed robust zippers and v adidas flux oila a new bag.
I would like a matching umbrella that can instantly fold to the size of a adidas flux ball point pen and when open can withstand a force 10 gale. This will of course be an instant dry variety and should be wide enough to cover my adidas flux Jimmy Choos and have a light on top which will indicate that I would like a taxi to save me from this unpredicted and unwelcome onslaught of rain.
How about an automatic self changing color. This will find the perfect background color and hue with what we are wearing and transform itself to the wardrobe choice of the day.
Beyond this, our intelligent bag can transform itself into a better designer than every other woman in the room. Let’s say for example someone walks in with a Stella McCartney bag, our bag reveals the name Giorgio Armani. I’ll admit this one could have some legal issues but I know there are some clever attorneys about. This of course doesn’t mean we women are competitive you understand.
The bag should be adaptable with its straps. Ideally one which can be over the shoulder. The strap should be wide enough to not dig into the shoulder if we choose to carry something weighty like a bottle of Chardonnay. It should also be stylish, not something akin to cheap webbing off a 1970’s banana lounger.
The strap should also be comfortable to wear across the chest whilst accentuating and lifting the breasts to that of a 29 year old. As this is typically done to prevent handbag snatchers, the strap should be cut proof and provide an electrical shock to anyone who isn’t the owner of said bag.